Time Heals All Wounds: Dump that Not So Nice Guy

Sometimes it happens, you get stuck in a terrible relationship and breaking away becomes a challenge. It’s like anything — quitting smoking, dieting — anything that requires a change in routine or lifestyle can be intimidating even though it is good for you. But seriously, if you’re dating a deadbeat, now’s the time to get rid of him and move on.

I have a friend who is trapped in an awful, emotionally draining relationship with an abusive guy. She’s having trouble dumping him, despite actually being in a perfect situation to get up and leave. They’re not married, nor do they have any children together. She could storm out of his life today and never have to see him ever again.

Let’s call my friend Lucy, which is not her real name. Lucy’s guy controls her with goods. He gives her money and takes her out to nice places — shows her a life that she cannot afford on her own. In doing this, he has caused Lucy to believe that she needs him. Unfortunately, Lucy’s guy isn’t only about fancy dinners and big spending. The guy regularly insults her, calls her stupid, and makes fun of her appearance. Oh, and this guy loves calling her the C word, often. Sounds like a real winner, right? And if Lucy doesn’t play it exactly how he wants, he calls her “crazy” and kicks her out of the house.

It’s strange how people can get caught up trapped in miserable relationships with abusive partners, but it’s real, it happens. Despite constantly crying about him to her friends, Lucy never takes our advice. She won’t leave the guy. I don’t know if it’s that Lucy is scared of being alone, or if she is developing Stockholm Syndrome, but she isn’t happy with her abusive boyfriend, yet she just won’t dump him.

First of all, if you’re dating someone like the guy I’ve described above, then you need to ask yourself: Why am I putting up with this behaviour?

Be confident in yourself and realize a simple truth: You can do better. Nobody deserves the treatment Lucy is getting from her guy…. Read the rest through our contributor @SingleIntheCity

About the Author: 


Laura Bilotta is a dating coach, matchmaker and the co-founder of successful dating websiteSingleinthecity.ca. Laura established Single in the City in 2002. Since its early beginnings twelve years ago, Laura’s efforts and expertise have allowed Single in the City to become one of the largest event based dating companies in the Greater Toronto Area. 

Laura’s expert knowledge of dating etiquette, relationships, and human behaviour form the base of her experience. She has hosted over one-thousand speed dating/mixer events, coached more than one-hundred men and women into dating gurus, and she has proudly played matchmaker for countless love-seeking singles.

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