10 Crazy Luxury Products That Are Actually Available To Buy

Instagram/@tezza

Around this time of year, we have every excuse to shop for Christmas gifts or treats to ourselves. It’s inevitable that by the end of the holiday season, everyone’s yearly budget is broken whether the cause be an impulse buy or a simple case of bad budgeting. Though especially when it comes to giving the perfect holiday gift to a family member or friend, does a high price tag automatically guarantee its thoughtfulness? Regardless, if you’re either looking to splurge big time, or just have an obsession with all things luxury, then keep on reading to check out these products that are actually available to buy.

Here are 10 of the most crazy, luxury products that are on the market.

NO. 2 Toilet Paper
goop

NO. 2 Toilet Paper

Is it odd that this 24-pack of toilet paper is featured as a star item on goop’s gift guide? Maybe. This bath tissue “with a conscience” is made out of 100 per cent recyclable bamboo and has an “eye for style” with its chic, dark floral packaging. It’s also clog and septic safe. So with all that info, we’ll just be over here wondering how many bundles of regular toilet paper you can buy for $47, and how much NO. 2 you have to use to actually clog a toilet.

$47 at goop
Klatch Roasters Elida Geisha 1029 Coffee
Klatch Coffee

Klatch Roasters Elida Geisha 1029 Coffee

Coming in at a cool $100 USD is this premium Elida Natural Geisha 1029 Coffee exclusively from Southern California’s Klatch Coffee Roasters. Sourced directly from Panama, the Elida Natural Geisha 1029 is a special blend that recently won the Best of Panama coffee competition. It’s currently for sale on Klatch’s website, and only 100 pounds of the special fair-trade and organic blend was made. We’re not knocking a good cup of coffee, but…

$100 USD at Klatch Roasters
Theodent 300 Toothpaste
Instagram/@theodent

Theodent 300 Toothpaste

This superactive toothpaste is exclusively available through Theodent’s website – the oral care company looking to disrupt an industry “starving for innovation”. This is the brands answer to the oral care industry’s supposed lack of forward-thinking: an $132 tube of toothpaste with a high dose of an active ingredient called Rennou that’s comprised of a cocoa extract. It might be a fancy alternative to a fluoride-based paste that resembles a Willy Wonka-esque chocolate bar, but it certainly doesn’t taste like one. And so, its one golden ticket away from being a solid purchase for its price.

$132 at Theodent
Glace Luxury Ice Co. Ice Cubes
Glace Luxury Ice

Glace Luxury Ice Co. Ice Cubes

If you enjoy sipping a fine spirit with a slow-melting ice cube plopped right down in the middle of it, then Glace Luxury Ice Co. might just have the perfect cooling agent for you. That is, if you’re willing to pay $430 for just 50 pieces of purified, solidified water. Free from minerals, additives, and other pollutants that may affect the taste of premium liquors, every five ice cubes are contained in a resealable pouch to ensure freshness. Turns out, there’s a luxury ice club after all.

$430 at Glace Luxury Ice
Tiffany & Co. Rose Gold Vermeil Reusable Crazy Straw
Tiffany & Co.

Tiffany & Co. Rose Gold Vermeil Reusable Crazy Straw

The Rose Gold Vermeil Reusable Crazy Straw that Tiffany & Co. is currently selling on its website for $510. The sterling silver straw’s Tiffany blue accent makes it recognizable to just about anyone when it’s not in your mouth.

$510 at Tiffany & Co.
Prada Logo Keychain
Farfetch

Prada Logo Keychain

This five by seven centimeter keychain sells for exactly $650 on Farfetch, (with free shipping this December, of course). Besides bearing the iconic fashion house’s name, this tiny piece of 100 per cent metal has no other function aside from adorning the handle of your favourite purse or keyring, making it instantly recognizable to passerby if only they could spot its miniscule presence.

$650 at Farfetch
SMEG x Dolce & Gabbana Toaster
Instagram/@smegkorea

SMEG x Dolce & Gabbana Toaster

For its $799 price tag, you’d think that this brightly coloured toaster designed by D&G for SMEG would toast more than two slices of bread at the same time. However, the main feature of this appliance appears to be the traditional Sicilian painted designs on its body in a traditional style. If you’re already pushing your bank account’s limits with all the gift purchases you’ve made this holiday season, there’s a good chance you won’t be able to afford to go to Sicily after buying this toaster. But if its too cute to go without, get to staring at it like you would the sea – immediately.

$799 at Hudson’s Bay
Orogold Cosmetics 24K Caviar Elastin Restoration Capsules
Instagram/@orogoldcosmetics

Orogold Cosmetics 24K Caviar Elastin Restoration Capsules

Caviar has a reputation for being a tasty yet expensive snack, and it’s even more costly when marketed as a youth-enhancing luxury skincare product. Containing 120 miniscule capsules of anti-aging facial serum, this Orogold Cosmetics 24K Caviar Elastin Restoration skin-smoothing concoction contains tons of Omega-3s that help boost hydration levels and Spilanthes Acmella flower extract, which reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Shall you eat your caviar or smear it on your face – for $1,200?

$1,200 at Orogold Cosmetics
Brandon Maxwell Champagne Bag
Brandon Maxwell

Brandon Maxwell Champagne Bag

What makes this champagne holder annoyingly cute is its price tag of $1,895. According to Brandon Maxwell’s website, the acrylic champagne bag makes a perfect fashion-forward accessory or home decor piece. Don’t get too excited about the pretty scarf attached to the handle – its available for purchase separately, as well as the bottle of bubbly its user must supply.

$1,895 at Brandon Maxwell
The Ten Thousand Bottle by Bling H2O
Bling H2O

The Ten Thousand Bottle by Bling H2O

Made-to-order and covered in over 10,000 hand-applied Swarovski crystals comes a bedazzled bottle of spring water from a brand called Bling H20. The brands website states that its product “isn’t for everyone… just those that bling”, and they might be right, considering each custom-coloured design rings in at $2,700. Who knew that a bespoke water bottle could cost such a pretty penny?

$2,700 at Bling H2O

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