10 Crazy Luxury Products That Are Actually Available To Buy

Is it odd that this 24-pack of toilet paper is featured as a star item on goop’s gift guide? Maybe. This bath tissue “with a conscience” is made out of 100 per cent recyclable bamboo and has an “eye for style” with its chic, dark floral packaging. It’s also clog and septic safe. So with all that info, we’ll just be over here wondering how many bundles of regular toilet paper you can buy for $47, and how much NO. 2 you have to use to actually clog a toilet.

Coming in at a cool $100 USD is this premium Elida Natural Geisha 1029 Coffee exclusively from Southern California’s Klatch Coffee Roasters. Sourced directly from Panama, the Elida Natural Geisha 1029 is a special blend that recently won the Best of Panama coffee competition. It’s currently for sale on Klatch’s website, and only 100 pounds of the special fair-trade and organic blend was made. We’re not knocking a good cup of coffee, but…

This superactive toothpaste is exclusively available through Theodent’s website – the oral care company looking to disrupt an industry “starving for innovation”. This is the brands answer to the oral care industry’s supposed lack of forward-thinking: an $132 tube of toothpaste with a high dose of an active ingredient called Rennou that’s comprised of a cocoa extract. It might be a fancy alternative to a fluoride-based paste that resembles a Willy Wonka-esque chocolate bar, but it certainly doesn’t taste like one. And so, its one golden ticket away from being a solid purchase for its price.

If you enjoy sipping a fine spirit with a slow-melting ice cube plopped right down in the middle of it, then Glace Luxury Ice Co. might just have the perfect cooling agent for you. That is, if you’re willing to pay $430 for just 50 pieces of purified, solidified water. Free from minerals, additives, and other pollutants that may affect the taste of premium liquors, every five ice cubes are contained in a resealable pouch to ensure freshness. Turns out, there’s a luxury ice club after all.

The Rose Gold Vermeil Reusable Crazy Straw that Tiffany & Co. is currently selling on its website for $510. The sterling silver straw’s Tiffany blue accent makes it recognizable to just about anyone when it’s not in your mouth.

This five by seven centimeter keychain sells for exactly $650 on Farfetch, (with free shipping this December, of course). Besides bearing the iconic fashion house’s name, this tiny piece of 100 per cent metal has no other function aside from adorning the handle of your favourite purse or keyring, making it instantly recognizable to passerby if only they could spot its miniscule presence.

For its $799 price tag, you’d think that this brightly coloured toaster designed by D&G for SMEG would toast more than two slices of bread at the same time. However, the main feature of this appliance appears to be the traditional Sicilian painted designs on its body in a traditional style. If you’re already pushing your bank account’s limits with all the gift purchases you’ve made this holiday season, there’s a good chance you won’t be able to afford to go to Sicily after buying this toaster. But if its too cute to go without, get to staring at it like you would the sea – immediately.

Caviar has a reputation for being a tasty yet expensive snack, and it’s even more costly when marketed as a youth-enhancing luxury skincare product. Containing 120 miniscule capsules of anti-aging facial serum, this Orogold Cosmetics 24K Caviar Elastin Restoration skin-smoothing concoction contains tons of Omega-3s that help boost hydration levels and Spilanthes Acmella flower extract, which reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Shall you eat your caviar or smear it on your face – for $1,200?

What makes this champagne holder annoyingly cute is its price tag of $1,895. According to Brandon Maxwell’s website, the acrylic champagne bag makes a perfect fashion-forward accessory or home decor piece. Don’t get too excited about the pretty scarf attached to the handle – its available for purchase separately, as well as the bottle of bubbly its user must supply.

Made-to-order and covered in over 10,000 hand-applied Swarovski crystals comes a bedazzled bottle of spring water from a brand called Bling H20. The brands website states that its product “isn’t for everyone… just those that bling”, and they might be right, considering each custom-coloured design rings in at $2,700. Who knew that a bespoke water bottle could cost such a pretty penny?